How to Help Someone Who is Grieving: A Comprehensive Guide
It can be hard to know exactly how to help someone who is grieving. It’s difficult to know what to say or how to act around someone you love who is experiencing grief, especially if you haven’t experienced a similar situation.
According to the Washington Post, “Understanding how loss affects our brain and body can help us realize that healing from a loss can take time.” Grieving is a deeply personal and often overwhelming experience. Knowing how to help someone who is grieving can be challenging, especially if you haven’t experienced a similar loss. However, this is precisely when our grieving friends need us the most. This guide provides practical advice on how to support someone dealing with grief and offers specific ways to show your care and compassion.
1. Offer Specific Help
When trying to help someone with grief, saying “let me know if I can do anything for you” can inadvertently place a burden on the bereaved. They may not know what they need, how to ask for help, or might feel uncomfortable requesting assistance.
Instead, offer specific forms of help. Suggest making dinner, running errands, or helping with household chores. These tangible acts of kindness can provide real support during a difficult time.
2. Avoid Clichés
Grief is a complicated emotion with so many layers. “Grief may also take the form of regret for something lost, remorse for something done, or sorrow for a mishap to oneself.” Although well-intentioned, clichés can minimize the grieving person’s feelings and make them feel misunderstood. Phrases like “I know how you feel” or “everything happens for a reason” often do more harm than good.
Focus on acknowledging your friend’s feelings and offering comfort. Say things like “It’s okay to cry” or “I’m here to listen.” These phrases validate their emotions and let them know you genuinely care.
3. Continue Checking In
Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. After the initial shock wears off and others return to their routines, the bereaved often find themselves alone in their sorrow.
Make a point to check in regularly. Send a message, give a call, or visit them even months after the loss. This continued presence shows that you are there for the long haul and that your support is unwavering. Read our blog for more insights into understanding what your loved one is experiencing and living with loss.
4. Ask if They’d Like to Talk
Avoiding mention of the deceased can make your friend feel isolated. Bringing up memories and talking about the lost loved one can be a comforting way to honor their memory.
Ask if they’d like to talk about their loved one. Some may prefer not to, but offering the opportunity shows that you respect their need to grieve and remember.
5. Be Present
Sometimes, the best way to support someone grieving is simply to be there. Your physical presence can be a great comfort, even if no words are spoken.Ways to Be Present
Spend time with them, sit with them in silence, or accompany them in their daily activities. Just being there can help them feel less alone in their grief.
6. Professional Support Options
Grieving can be an isolating experience, but professional support can offer much-needed guidance and understanding. Supporting someone who is grieving requires sensitivity, patience, and understanding. By offering specific help, avoiding clichés, continuing to check in, inviting conversations about the deceased, and simply being present, you can provide meaningful support during a difficult time. Remember, grief is a journey, and your consistent presence and care can make all the difference.
At Pathways, we provide counseling services and therapy for individuals, families, and groups dealing with grief. Joining a support group can also connect those who are experiencing similar losses, offering communal support and shared understanding.
If you or someone you know is grieving, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. You don’t have to go through it alone. Learn more about Grief & Loss Services here at Pathways to help.