Coping After Loss
After someone dies, many people say, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing.” The truth is, there isn’t a right way to grieve. Loss can feel disorienting. You might feel overwhelmed one moment and numb the next. You may be functioning on the outside while quietly struggling inside. All of that is normal.
Coping isn’t about “being strong” or moving on. It’s about steadying yourself in small, manageable ways. Grief affects the body as much as the heart. You may notice changes in sleep, appetite, energy, or concentration. Simple nervous system regulation skills – like slowing your breathing, placing your feet firmly on the ground, or stepping outside for fresh air – can help calm intense waves of emotion.
From a cognitive-behavioral (CBT) perspective, it can also be helpful to gently notice your thoughts. Grief often brings self-critical beliefs such as, “I should be handling this better,” or “I shouldn’t still feel this way.” Instead of accepting those thoughts as facts, try asking:
Is this thought kind? Is it realistic? What would I say to someone I love in this situation? Even small shifts toward more compassionate thinking can reduce added suffering.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) reminds us that two things can be true at once. You can feel deep sadness and moments of relief, especially after a long illness. You can miss someone terribly and still laugh at a memory. Practicing “both/and” thinking helps reduce guilt and emotional conflict.
When emotions feel especially intense, DBT distress tolerance skills can help in the moment. Using temperature (holding something cold), paced breathing, or brief movement like a short walk can lower emotional intensity without pushing feelings away. These tools are not about avoiding grief – they’re about making it survivable when it spikes
It can also help to take small, values-based actions, even when motivation is low. This might mean texting a trusted person, attending a bereavement group, journaling for five minutes, or maintaining a simple daily routine. Small, intentional steps can gently interrupt isolation and support healing.
Most of all, practice self-compassion. There is no timeline for grief. Healing is not linear. If your grief feels overwhelming or unmanageable, reaching out for professional support is a sign of strength.
Coping means taking one small step at a time – learning, slowly, how to carry love and loss together. And you do not have to do that alone.
Pathways offers the Northern Colorado community counseling and creative therapies to assist through the confusing and overwhelming emotions that arise during the difficult time of loss. We are here to help guide those in need through the healing process, regardless of age or financial situation.
Grief Following Loss
We offer individual, couples, and family grief counseling for clients of multiple age groups and experiencing all types of loss. To support the needs unique to losing a parent, spouse, child, friend or coworker, Pathways offers specific services and programs themed on these relationships.
Grief During Serious Illness
Serious illness presents numerous changes and challenges for the patient and their family members. Our team offers support to that may include adjustments to new routines, dealing with symptoms and treatments and taking on caregiving responsibilities. Counseling can help navigate these changes and manage difficult emotions.
About Our Sessions
Pathways accepts all walks of life to help ease the pain of grief. All ages are welcome to schedule a session one of our grief counselors. We accept all types of payment and fees are based on a sliding scale. In many instances, insurance may be used to cover your cost, and we work with those who aren’t able to pay due to financial hardships. Please reach out to us for more information on your unique situation.
Please call 970-663-3500 or email bereavement@pathways-care.org for more information on our counseling or support groups. More information can be found at https://pathways-care.org/griefandloss/.